Constantin Prückner
Germany – Korea I 2001 I constantin.prueckner@gmail.com
One swan is floating on the river creating waves while parting the water on its way. Sparkling reflections of colors created by the shining sunlight dancing on the waves are painting pictures in your eyes. So beautiful, I want to touch that painting. But I know when touching it I will close these eyes which will be flinching back scared of being hurt to get touched. I can only watch. So nearby. So far away. Please, you beautiful world, let this swan never go away. Let this swan always swim and never stop it creating waves. To create colors. To create this feeling of wanting but not having. The swan keeps ongoing, so I dive into the river to tell the swan to stop. Currently, I do not know what I am searching for. Is it the swan? Is it the light? Is it the colors? Is it those eyes? Sunken in the river and sunken in thoughts, I see the sun moving down towards the horizon. I swim back to see the painting one last time. But no. what is the aim of swimming back? The light is gone, and the swan keeps on moving. How can there still be a picture when there are no colors? But those eyes, they are still there. These always far away eyes. Can they still be the same without colors? Now I know! I need to create these colors on my own. If I can create colors, I can create reflections. Nevertheless, can a painting be equally beautiful when I draw it by myself? Isn’t this the beauty? Of not being able to control. To let it flow. I flow. The swan. Almost gone in the dark of the nighttime. Time. Time blows away the clouds that were covering the light of the moon. The night smells like lavender. Where is that smell coming from? I look to my right. I look to my left. I look up. I look down. I stopped searching. Now I realize with my real eyes another light. A light emerging out of the shadow. Now I see the swan again. He was never away. She was always there. Its feathers have the same colors as the shine of the moon in the river. Iridescent vibrating waves create the illusion of forming water into white, shining feathers. They feel so soft and so warm. So warm that it feels like I am encased by those feathers. And now I realize it.
I know what I was searching for.
I found the answer
